I’ve never really been one for lists… just ask my husband.
As life progresses and I find myself on the other side of 25 and closer to 35 I’ve come to realise that maybe there are a few good reasons why a list is important. This truly isn’t even about age, (I don’t even know if I believe in ages and the social constructs and ideologies built around them – that is a conversation for another day!), however; there is a natural progression and growth to all things in life and with that comes a deep understanding that our time is so devastatingly brief.
There is shift happening in the conscious of the world, everyone is a little more woke these days. I have found myself drawn to mad people – mad to live, mad to dream, mad to be saved! People that burn with a fire to feel and experience life without conforming to the dictated script of life that is given. There is nothing more I love then seeing someone alive – eyes burning, radiating positive energy and pulling those around them into their light. It’s contagious, that feeling of freedom, recklessness, determination, happiness.
I have found a lovely balance of this in my life, which is perfect for where I am right now. I can set goals, work to achieve them and still fill my “real life” cup. My “real life” cup isn’t about jobs, deadlines, payments, mortgages (bluhhh), it’s about feeling joy and connecting with nature and giving in to pleasure!
SO, HERE THEY ARE. THE FIVE THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE 35 – OR WHENEVER! REAL LIFE CUP FILLERS THAT TRULY MATTER FOR THE MIND, BODY AND SOULLLLLLL.
What you need to do now is get a pen and write down five things under these headings…
Think about that one thing that has been bubbling inside you that you have never had the courage to sign up for/ committed to/ admitted to…
For me this came in the form of facilitating at a Self Love retreat. I have loved writing for as long as I can remember. I’ve used it myself to heal emotional wounds. I have practiced, refined and worked to use it as a self love modality. My beautiful friend Sally saw the potential in me and helped me realise that this is something I am capable of. When Sally offered me the chance to facilitate I almost said no because of fear. I knew I wanted it though so I said yes before I could say no and bought my ticket. No. Backing. Out. Someone once told me excitement is the difference of one breath from fear, so I kept breathing, meditated focusing on my solar plexus chakra and imagined it a million times. IT WAS SO WORTH IT! Being brave feels fucking awesome. What is it you fear and want to face? Book it in and don’t back out.
There is nothing that raises your vibration level to JOY faster than… dancing. It is time for you to dance… I have participated in a few ecstatic dance workshops now and it is exhilarating, freeing and utterly empowering. You shake off the nerves, close your eyes and give in! Feeling silly? Be silly! Feeling sexy? Be sexy! Something I love about dancing is you can either withdraw into your own world following your own intrinsic movements, or gravitate to someone and FEEL your energies collide! I have felt this and it is awesome! The awkwardness falls away and you just be and it’s so cool. Now if ecstatic dance is too far out of your realm start in your own space. Dedicate one hour to be alone with music and let yourself feel each song and let your body go! If this isn’t an option in your house then it’s time to book a dance class, adult ballet, adult jazz, ballroom or salsa. Start with one class, I challenge you not to find joy!
This one is important – Yoni mapping. I have written a whole post on this (here). Yoni mapping changed my life, it changed me and continues to change me. The effects of Yoni Mapping ripple into so many aspects of my life. It is a guided journey into your body by a trained female practitioner who not only helps you understand the physics of your body but connects you to the energy and life force within. There is no right or wrong time, no right or wrong reason to have this done – it is right for every woman and I swear you’ll walk away feeling deeply connected to yourself! I recommend Mariam, check out her site here.
There is nothing greater in this world than feeling pleasure and don’t you ever feel guilty about it! What makes your eye lids heavy? Your body respond in all the right ways? A blissful moment where you feel nothing but the state of pleasure? Think about the pleasure you have in your life and I mean deep pleasure! For some it may be sexual, others food or perhaps massage… what brings you extreme pleasure? Is there a fantasy you haven’t fulfilled? I won’t share my pleasure list item as it is yet to be fulfilled… It involves an overseas trip, with my husband and a magical lagoon…. DREAMING BIG for this one. In the meantime though I have made everyday goals for finding pleasure, right now it’s indulging in a saucy novel.
Here is something you need to do, right now – book in a boudoir shoot. It is extremely important here to know that boudoir shoots are specialised areas of photography, not just any photographer can create the atmosphere required, make you feel the way you should or show you just how beautiful you are. Mothers more than anyone else in the world know what I mean when I say I don’t like my stomach… Yes it gave me a baby – but fuck it’s never going to be like it was (which is okay!). The tits have been drained, the hips have stretchies and my hair has thinned…. (but dang I made a cute kid!). I know when my skin is thin, my hair is gray and my eyes are milky i’ll look back and think, silly girl, look how gorgeous you were! SO i am telling you… capture the raw images of yourself that show you for who you are. My dear, sweet, gorgeous, hysterical and giving friend Jodi is a boudoir photographer specialist. Jodi booked this rock star room at The Slow in Bali, where we drank a cocktail and had the best time! Jodi has a true affinity with ease. She makes everything seem possible, nothing to risky and the whole process effortlessly natural. Her gentle encouragement turns into passionate cheers and you’ll actually end up delighting in her pleasure of capturing an image she is genuinely stoked on. She captures your physical form in the most flattering way that also somehow shows your inner beauty too – Your inner beauty and light beaming out! A boudoir shoot really encompasses all of the five goals – Courage, Joy, Self Discovery, Pleasure and Beauty.
So please, take a moment to stop and think about these five important elements that will help you grow, expand your understanding of yourself and fill your high vibration cups!
Let me know how you go!
Lisa and Jess coming to you live from Bali.
Without kids. You heard right, best friends in Bali, without children. Who would have thought such trips were possible after kids? We are here to remind you that you have other relationships in your life outside of your family nucleus. After children it can become really difficult to maintain strong friendships. Friendships often take a back seat to all of our families needs, this is okay and very natural as we adapt to our new family world.
As a parent, we don’t need to tell you how isolating it can also be. We don’t need to remind you that you will crave adult interaction and conversation. We also know that you don’t need us to tell you that there will be moments where you wish you could just disappear to an island for a moment of peace, just to reset.
Hitting the reset button is what we are all about. Kids need timeout to reset when they are cranky, tired and just bloody over it – and so do we.
We understand that once you have kids taking time out can seem daunting- who looks after the kids whilst your away, how do you afford where to go? All of these things can be solved. Sometimes it may take careful planning and giving yourself a time frame to save. Sometimes you can do it spur of the moment.
This Bali trip was booked 9 months in advance. We found a time, a cheap flight and a friend with a Villa. Open conversations with your partner will help them to understand why you need this reset- in tune partners normally don’t need a reason they might encourage you! We are both lucky to have husbands who support and understand us. They don’t see taking the kids as “baby sitting”- they are a parent also. For you it may be that you need to call in reinforcements- grandma, aunt, poppy, cousin, neighbor, paid help etc.
We are having the best time talking about the kids, our husbands, our life- everything with no judgment. Take a trip with a friend you love, trust and can just chill with.
Your trip may be a week in Bali or a weekend in Byron… it doesn’t matter. It is just so important to have time to be yourself without your kids. We often hear a lot of parents talking about “The loss of identity” after having children. There is no better medicine than travel to find out who you really are. If you’re thinking you need a moment to reset, we encourage you to have a family conversation, start a savings account and book a special! Booking flights first is always the sure way to make sure you commit to it!
Here are some happy snaps of us being so wonderfully free in Bali, dreaming and missing our babies, and being grateful for the lives we have and the families waiting for us at home.
Lisa & Jess. Xo.
P.s- We are staying at the amazing Del Boca Villas, post to come!